Humor is everywhere

It is nights like tonight that I am reminded of how much I love my job! This world is filled with such a variety of people and I get to encounter each and every single type there is every day/night in this crazy little city we call, “Bawlmor."
The night started of slow, I was dragging ass trying to will the oncoming cold away all the while silently praying that it is 'just a cold' not the dreaded 'swine' flu that has found its way one floor below me in headquarters in three separate individuals. Swine flu...what an appropriate name, of course you know it's inevitable that the police are going to end up getting infected with it.
Once on the floor, I (gasp) hand the keys to the legendary Sonata off to G - what's this, Danica is not driving tonight o-m-g; she has to be sick! G's CS is calling looks like we will be heading to the ill-perceived quiet, safe district of the city and try to get this burner, but first we have to grab some grub...so to Dino's it is.
Phone rings... [Smile, followed by laughter - still find the irony hilarious]...it’s the new guy, sweet!
Infamous chicken salad with half and half is ordered - shocker - we sit/stand near the tables and wait for our food. Two young uniforms walk in...completely unaware of their surroundings - I wonder if they suspect there are at least two people aside from them armed in this establishment (mind you I say "at least" - I'm still a little questionable about the guy to my left). The 'five guy' version hits the head while his side partner stands at the counter and catches sight of G. He is not taking his eyes off of him - I know that look - he is thinking to himself, "I know that guy, but how...have I arrested him before??? Or is he a police???" He can't make up his mind...everywhere he goes his eyes follow G. I ask G if he knows him - we share a laugh at his response - don't worry, I got your back! 'Five guys' cuts in line and orders his food - typical...this is one of the many reasons why citizens dislike police. Hey buddy! The line wasn't even that long. Finally, food is done - G adds a slice of cake - good lawd son son let's go already.
Dinner is served as we find a parking spot a couple doors down from our target location - multi-tasking is a must-have skill in order to do this job ~ now we wait...Its not going down tonight...silently thankful as I had myself a moment once I finished my serving (half) of my salad and tactical reality of the situation sunk in. A very important piece of equipment for all three of us is in the trunk - yea, we are definitely city police.
Back to the west side...
K heads in to set up on the cameras...G wants to do some car stops and I just want to get into something to make the time go by faster so car stops it is. Found one...he stops...gots nothing...steps out...I'm with him the big boy engaging him in conversation...I hear a door shut and Ilook at G...he doesn't look good and is mumbling something...I think he wants to switch to have me search while he stands with big boy - I tell him I'm good (thinking to myself I like'm big - means they fall harder) besides my light is dead (damn I wish that order would come in) - I see G shaking his hand he must of hit it on something. We finish, get in our car G is holding his finger I ask what’s wrong - he laughs, big dummy shut his finger in the door - DOH! He can still get his gun - we're good...on to the next one.
K hits us up - he still hasn't figured out our new phones - we're ready to rip.
We get the description and now to find Waldo - not having much luck - there he is he's turning southbound. We pull alongside, "watch his hands G" G drops his famous line, which includes "stop, police." I'm opening my door - I see the lean, yep there it is, he is about to run and there he goes. O-M-G...I want a camera - I can't stop laughing - no, he didn't. His arms are flailing over his head and he is flamboyantly shouting, "Oh mi god, its da police, its da police, Oh mi god." Lady sitting on her front stoop is heard laughing as I jump across the console, into the driver’s seat with one foot out of the car and drive down the street in order to cut him off. G and I are both laughing out loud when we roll him over. G back tracks as I check him. He says he didn't know we were the police? hmm...with all that flailing and the dark ass streets we chalk it up as a lost 'cause K has another on the line.
A female with fur around collar - sweet should be easy and we don't have to worry about her running - of course that means that I am going to have to do some looking - hope she'll make it easy and have it in her pocket or something - I really don't want to go diving tonight. Arrgghh...can't find her - where did she go? Maybe she made a house? Oh, wait is that her, no she doesn't have fur around the collar and she is walking with a guy towards us not away.
10-47...we'll stand by for the next...
Locate him, but he has already used the evidence. I am starting to feel bad cause we keep coming up empty - I hate it when you're watching something and none of your rips are turning out right. We toss him aside and wait for the next one.
Another female...walking with a guy - great I'm up again. O-K, I see them - there heading southbound - we're on them. Ha! It’s the two we saw earlier. She wants to know why we're stopping her (hmm...I wonder?) Start my search - no such luck! Start on top and work my way south - good lawd she is putting my boobies to shame - these bad boys have to weigh at least 15lbs each. She is giving it away - I know it is in here...I just don't know where to look. Hmm...think J, think - where would you hide it "light bulb". Borrow G's light (that's it I am chalking it up and buying new batteries until that damn order comes in) cha-ching - three green tops in the cleavage -sweetness. At least she has stopped accusing me of disrespecting her boobies - she relaxes and laughs with us. She seems to be very proud of her hiding spot - even jokes on me a little that it took me a little while to find them.
'ts all good in da' hood!

Let’s call it a night...