WOW! I seriously cannot believe that today it has officially been ten years since I joined this infamous department! I have finally reached the summit and can now start my journey on the downward slope…ten complete, ten to go!
I mean it feels like it was just yesterday when I walked into Police Headquarters and signed my life away…I mean made this commitment to this career. Many papers to fill out and sign; then sent to get my photo taken for my ‘official’ trainee id card. This is when I was introduced to a fellow classmate of mine who left a lasting impression on me (when I silently prayed please dear God don’t let them all be like Country – lol). If nothing else he cracked me up for the rest of the day with his lack of knowledge of inner city living and absolutely no street sense, he also had me seriously pondering if he had any common sense, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt at the time).
Photos were taken, ID cards issued (OMG… how young I looked), off to the QM was I was issued so much sh*t, which they carefully threw into a large black yard trash bag that I got to lug around for the rest of this process.
Next step off to City Hall to be sworn in, I didn’t know what I had agreed to there, there was so much chaos in the office and the woman reading whatever it was that she was reading to us was not the most literate person and whom seemed incapable of how to enunciate any of her words, but we both agreed and signed some more papers. When we left City Hall, Country asked me if we just got married, secretly I was wondering the same thing and praying for an immediate annulment. (besides at the time I was already promised to one man – boy that was a long time ago)
Next we were off to be measured for our dress blues…boy he was a trip, he really showed his street skills on this trip. Finished there, off to be fitted for our vests! And my first encounter with…dun, dun, dun, SAM! Boy, if he doesn’t swindle every police trainee that step foot in his store! That first measuring was one that I still speak of today! He measured Country first, finished him pretty rapidly then it was my turn. He took one measurement, marked the numbers down, then he handed me one end of the measuring tape. I was confused and I went to hand it back to him. No, no…he said, take that end and place it on your ‘point’. [to myself] Hmm…totally lost, WTF is he talking about, he didn’t do this when he was measuring Country, sh*t did I miss something; he must think I am just a stupid girl who doesn’t know how to follow directions. Wait...no, I paid attention the entire time he measured Country, he never once handed the tape off to him and told him to put one end on his point. What freaking “point”, I don’t get it??? Seriously, what are you talking about? [Aloud] Umm, my point? Yea, your point. Please place that end of the tape on your point. Yea, umm, what point? You know [motioning towards my breast] your POINT! OH…my “point”! [want to curl into little ball and hide as I feel the blood rushing to my neck and face] Country is now very interested in what is going on as I silently place the end of the measuring tape that was handed to me on my left nipple; you know my ‘point’. He takes a new measurement. Then ask me to go “point to point” – oh, holy hell ya’ll are just getting a kick out this now making me stand here holding a tape measure going from one nipple to the next. I mean if this are real measurements shouldn’t you be doing them, you have my permission I want this thing to fit me correctly. You know it is a very crucial piece of equipment that could potentially save my life one day! A few additional measurements were taken and then I silently walked out of the shop with my first true experience of the male dominated profession I was about to enter, but I was ready for it and them.
I just wasn’t sure if it was going to be ready for me!
Here is to the next ten years!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Sweet Valentine
Finally, my last night of work this week and what a week it has been I deserve the next two days off. Almost finished my tour of duty on what has proven to be a pretty uneventful and somewhat unproductive night. OIC again, already sent the other car downtown to process and submit. Thinking it is about time for us to follow suit.
One last stroll through our Zone, I still cannot believe how bad the roads still are from the back to back blizzards we had. Some of the roads have yet to have been touched. The road I am currently on has proven to be my arch nemesis during this whole escapade, secretly determined to travel on this road one day this week without falling victim to its snow covered clutches – I begin my voyage headed westbound.
Now, I’m not sure how familiar you are with driving on the snow covered roadways, especially those that have tracks in them from other vehicles (mostly the humvees from earlier in the week) and also in these tracks are divots and such from where other vehicles had gotten themselves stuck and then spun the heck out of their tires trying to get out. And when you drive on these wonderful roadways, you need to maintain your speed so as to not follow suit and get stuck in these same spots and/or be forced or slide off track into unchartered territory.
As I travel along, I observe a man walking in the roadway several yards ahead of me. I beep the horn as I have done all day long so that he can move off to the side of the road and allow my vehicle to pass by him.
Nope…no such luck!
Instead of moving out of the way, he turns and stands firmly. Unable to go around him due to the abundance of snow on the roadways, I am forced to stop my vehicle. As I come to a complete stop, I feel first and then take notice of the man who is now glaring at me through my windshield. His eyes are glazed and he’s looking, well, just not all there…GREAT!
I beep the horn again and tell him to get out of the road, motioning to the side of the road with my hand. He is saying something; he is completely incoherent I don’t understand a word of it. I put the car in park and start to open the door. He takes several steps over and places himself directly in front of my side of the car removing something from his pocket in the process. Shit, what does he have in his hand? He has something in his hand. I step out of the vehicle, he makes a motion with his hand again, he has a knife and just opened it. He pulls it back into a striking position and starts saying what are you gonna do now. [Hmmm…I have a few ideas] My side partner doesn’t see it; I yell again, still nothing he’s still moving towards him, I withdraw, he is startled by my partner, he never say him, he pulls the knife back again, I come to sights and yell again (note to self: buy new batteries for hearing aid) I think they both get startled, each for their own reasons, suspect is disarmed. Later he informs me that he never saw my partner that he was angry and fighting with his wife (who was walking on the sidewalk), after momentarily crying he decided that he was wrong, but I was wrong too? That for a woman, I had a really foul mouth for talking to a man? He was glad that he had his knife and that I obviously didn’t know who he was. He then proceeded to memorize my face for the next time and then asked me if I was really going to lock him up on Valentine’s Day? Absolutely Sir!
So much for getting off on time tonight!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
How to get a gray hair
Tonight has been very trying on me…it is nights like tonight that make me wish that my sergeant would leave someone else in charge in his absence. I mean, no one ever really respects or listens to the OIC (okay well, they do when you tell them they can skate out early, but generally speaking it is absolutely not worth the extra $14 you’re suppose to get paid on those days, but that’s another story in and of itself) And who cares if I am about to be an actual sergeant that has no bearing on the present moment…I am just a fellow squad mate wearing some imaginary chevron epilates; when my sergeant returns, I return to being just another detective.
My bad, I was on my soap box for a moment. So, the lieutenant began texting me many, many hours before I was scheduled to be at work. Be sure my guys bring their uniforms into work tonight…check, forward that along to them. Here are my fixed position assignments. Bring shovels. Be advised we are not on fixed positions as of yet. Please note, we are now in uniform for the evening; however, not on fixed positions. 10-4…forward that along. Time for me to attempt to drive into work, I am so thankful for having a 4x4 truck.
Got a phone call…umm, hey J, I just got your message about uniforms and I’m already at HQ. I don’t have one here; what do you want me to do? (explicit language under my breathe) Do you want me to call and tell LT? (more explicit language…followed by deep breathe) No, don’t call anyone! Where is your uniform at? Home. OK…can you go get it? Well, umm...I walked. Ok, when I get in I will drive you to get your uniform…cool, cool.
Neighbors stuck, got to help him. Roads suck, they have to see a plow. Finally, on highway, see I missed a call. Call back…hey J; I got your message kind of late (WTF?? All those messages went out hours ago, how are you people just now checking your phones??? The state is in a state of emergency, you should be checking your sh*t frequently – deep breathe) So, I turned around so that I could shave so I may be a little late. Okay…cool, thanks for letting me know!
Almost to work, phone rings, (good God, I’m scared to answer). Hey J. Yep, what’s up? You know you sent that message kind of late (lost it – poor bastard had no chance) Apologize…talk to me, what’s up? Great you don’t have your uniform! Well, I guess you are turning around and going back to your house to get it. Nope, I am not calling the LT to explain why you cannot follow simple instructions. We are in uniform and why, yes, I understand that it sucks and it always doesn’t make sense. Yes, I understand how silly it is for us to be in uniform in unmarked vehicles, but I do not make the rules, I just follow them and unfortunately, today I have to enforce them. I don’t care how long it is going to take you. I advised you over five hours ago to bring your uniform in with you to work tonight. Yes, I know traffic sucks, but since we are in a state of emergency you should have known to have your uniform with you anyway. No you may not have off they are denying all leave for the day and until this is all over with if you don’t show up for work they will be marking you as being XP (AWOL). I will cover for you until you can get in, please drive safely in a hurry.
Good God, my shift hasn’t even started yet…this cannot be a good sign for what the night has in store for me/us!
Fast forward…
I now have two detectives with uniforms, LT responds around as I am about to drop my pants in order to change into my own to debrief me. Hmm…I don’t know how he would feel about my changing in front of him (although, I am not even sure if he would notice). Have our mission; understand the game plan and luckily he did not ask where my third detective was! If he had asked, I totally planned to just drop my pants and start changing in an attempt to cause a distraction long enough for me to justify his absence. As I begin changing (yes people, I change at my desk, which is out in the open, I am not necessarily a modest person it’s not as if you haven’t seen what I have on someone else before and if you haven’t well, then there is just something wrong with you) the LT walks out of the other LT’s office and is a little startled when it is brought to his attention hey I had some UA pants on at this point no big deal, but worth mentioning because this was comical to say the least.
We’re squared away and hungry…might as well, go grab some grub prior to getting stuck on fixed positions (that’s bound to come) and since we are still waiting on one. Food is ordered…phone rings, he went to hq – idk why, but he did. Incoming text…apparently we are now on fixed positions the man is looking for our cars. Good GOD how am I going to pull this one off…
Creatively that’s how!
He’s asking for an ETA…2 minutes roads are bad (that’s no lie) he is waiting be there in seconds. Approaching intersection, light changes from green to red, I stop or so I thought, car slides and slides and slides into the intersection, car travelling northbound into same intersection, oh shit oh shit I hate anti-lock brakes oh yea and all the effing snow that is preventing my tires from touching the actual street. Slowing (start laughing) slowing (can’t help myself – this is priceless) missed the car by inches (damn, that would have been the cherry on top) “hey, LT, we’re here!”
Fix Positions…
I don’t know if you know this about me or not, but I am a type of person who cannot sit still for very long. Unless I am in a covert position observing some bad people doing bad things I just cannot seem to do it. I get restless very quickly and need to find way to entertain myself.
Boy oh boy did I ever find some ways to entertain myself.
Some science experiments were conducted…
I fixed my visor with a rubber band…
We experienced a zombie invasion and several attacks (we handled them efficiently and disposed of any and all evidence)…
A password was imposed in order to walk up my street…
I watched a mid-level cds transaction occur, where a large bag was exchanged for a duffle bag but under my present orders to not arrest anyone I ignored same and figured it was okay as this individual was well acquainted with the password…
I stopped a Medic (he was confused looking and not very happy)…
I measured the snow with my fork, which doubled as a zombie sensor (about 3.5 inches fell in 3 hours)…
I documented footage of zombies…
Hmm…there was also a point in time where I had the ingenious idea to open the sunroof of my vehicle, which dumped snow on us and led to a snowball fight inside of my car
Then the time came where I really had to hit the head after drinking my 32 oz drink along with my bottle of water. My guys relieved us of our post (this was a very important corner to protect…I believe it had everything to do with the zombies, but am still being told that information is classified) off to the district to utilize the head.
Ahhh…relief! Hmm…who is my partner for the evening talking to by that Humvee? Hey that’s one of the guys from last night still looking all sloppy in his uniform. As I approached, out ‘he’ walks from behind the humvee, ha…he’s looking, you can see the smoke coming from this guy’s ears, he looks so confused, hilarious, he is trying to figure out if I am the same chick from last night. Yea, yea, I know I look hot in uniform (joking, well only slightly). Audible…yes, it is me; I am just wearing a uniform tonight. He’s flirting…too easy, but wait?! Is he flirting with my partner for the night as well and wait is he flirting back…whoa! Dude, are you trying to steal my man? I claimed him already go find your own! LMAO! I am going to bust some b@lls on this one – too priceless for me to not! Alright, love to chat, but I got to run. I am not someone that can flirt with any civvies especially while I am in uniform. That is just downright unprofessional and not me – I can look though!
Back to my corner…only to learn that two of my detectives have been turned, damn zombies! After a few minutes, I make the command decision!
Let’s head in boys…I have had enough for one night!
My bad, I was on my soap box for a moment. So, the lieutenant began texting me many, many hours before I was scheduled to be at work. Be sure my guys bring their uniforms into work tonight…check, forward that along to them. Here are my fixed position assignments. Bring shovels. Be advised we are not on fixed positions as of yet. Please note, we are now in uniform for the evening; however, not on fixed positions. 10-4…forward that along. Time for me to attempt to drive into work, I am so thankful for having a 4x4 truck.
Got a phone call…umm, hey J, I just got your message about uniforms and I’m already at HQ. I don’t have one here; what do you want me to do? (explicit language under my breathe) Do you want me to call and tell LT? (more explicit language…followed by deep breathe) No, don’t call anyone! Where is your uniform at? Home. OK…can you go get it? Well, umm...I walked. Ok, when I get in I will drive you to get your uniform…cool, cool.
Neighbors stuck, got to help him. Roads suck, they have to see a plow. Finally, on highway, see I missed a call. Call back…hey J; I got your message kind of late (WTF?? All those messages went out hours ago, how are you people just now checking your phones??? The state is in a state of emergency, you should be checking your sh*t frequently – deep breathe) So, I turned around so that I could shave so I may be a little late. Okay…cool, thanks for letting me know!
Almost to work, phone rings, (good God, I’m scared to answer). Hey J. Yep, what’s up? You know you sent that message kind of late (lost it – poor bastard had no chance) Apologize…talk to me, what’s up? Great you don’t have your uniform! Well, I guess you are turning around and going back to your house to get it. Nope, I am not calling the LT to explain why you cannot follow simple instructions. We are in uniform and why, yes, I understand that it sucks and it always doesn’t make sense. Yes, I understand how silly it is for us to be in uniform in unmarked vehicles, but I do not make the rules, I just follow them and unfortunately, today I have to enforce them. I don’t care how long it is going to take you. I advised you over five hours ago to bring your uniform in with you to work tonight. Yes, I know traffic sucks, but since we are in a state of emergency you should have known to have your uniform with you anyway. No you may not have off they are denying all leave for the day and until this is all over with if you don’t show up for work they will be marking you as being XP (AWOL). I will cover for you until you can get in, please drive safely in a hurry.
Good God, my shift hasn’t even started yet…this cannot be a good sign for what the night has in store for me/us!
Fast forward…
I now have two detectives with uniforms, LT responds around as I am about to drop my pants in order to change into my own to debrief me. Hmm…I don’t know how he would feel about my changing in front of him (although, I am not even sure if he would notice). Have our mission; understand the game plan and luckily he did not ask where my third detective was! If he had asked, I totally planned to just drop my pants and start changing in an attempt to cause a distraction long enough for me to justify his absence. As I begin changing (yes people, I change at my desk, which is out in the open, I am not necessarily a modest person it’s not as if you haven’t seen what I have on someone else before and if you haven’t well, then there is just something wrong with you) the LT walks out of the other LT’s office and is a little startled when it is brought to his attention hey I had some UA pants on at this point no big deal, but worth mentioning because this was comical to say the least.
We’re squared away and hungry…might as well, go grab some grub prior to getting stuck on fixed positions (that’s bound to come) and since we are still waiting on one. Food is ordered…phone rings, he went to hq – idk why, but he did. Incoming text…apparently we are now on fixed positions the man is looking for our cars. Good GOD how am I going to pull this one off…
Creatively that’s how!
He’s asking for an ETA…2 minutes roads are bad (that’s no lie) he is waiting be there in seconds. Approaching intersection, light changes from green to red, I stop or so I thought, car slides and slides and slides into the intersection, car travelling northbound into same intersection, oh shit oh shit I hate anti-lock brakes oh yea and all the effing snow that is preventing my tires from touching the actual street. Slowing (start laughing) slowing (can’t help myself – this is priceless) missed the car by inches (damn, that would have been the cherry on top) “hey, LT, we’re here!”
Fix Positions…
I don’t know if you know this about me or not, but I am a type of person who cannot sit still for very long. Unless I am in a covert position observing some bad people doing bad things I just cannot seem to do it. I get restless very quickly and need to find way to entertain myself.
Boy oh boy did I ever find some ways to entertain myself.
Some science experiments were conducted…
I fixed my visor with a rubber band…
We experienced a zombie invasion and several attacks (we handled them efficiently and disposed of any and all evidence)…
A password was imposed in order to walk up my street…
I watched a mid-level cds transaction occur, where a large bag was exchanged for a duffle bag but under my present orders to not arrest anyone I ignored same and figured it was okay as this individual was well acquainted with the password…
I stopped a Medic (he was confused looking and not very happy)…
I measured the snow with my fork, which doubled as a zombie sensor (about 3.5 inches fell in 3 hours)…
I documented footage of zombies…
Hmm…there was also a point in time where I had the ingenious idea to open the sunroof of my vehicle, which dumped snow on us and led to a snowball fight inside of my car
Then the time came where I really had to hit the head after drinking my 32 oz drink along with my bottle of water. My guys relieved us of our post (this was a very important corner to protect…I believe it had everything to do with the zombies, but am still being told that information is classified) off to the district to utilize the head.
Ahhh…relief! Hmm…who is my partner for the evening talking to by that Humvee? Hey that’s one of the guys from last night still looking all sloppy in his uniform. As I approached, out ‘he’ walks from behind the humvee, ha…he’s looking, you can see the smoke coming from this guy’s ears, he looks so confused, hilarious, he is trying to figure out if I am the same chick from last night. Yea, yea, I know I look hot in uniform (joking, well only slightly). Audible…yes, it is me; I am just wearing a uniform tonight. He’s flirting…too easy, but wait?! Is he flirting with my partner for the night as well and wait is he flirting back…whoa! Dude, are you trying to steal my man? I claimed him already go find your own! LMAO! I am going to bust some b@lls on this one – too priceless for me to not! Alright, love to chat, but I got to run. I am not someone that can flirt with any civvies especially while I am in uniform. That is just downright unprofessional and not me – I can look though!
Back to my corner…only to learn that two of my detectives have been turned, damn zombies! After a few minutes, I make the command decision!
Let’s head in boys…I have had enough for one night!
Friday, October 16, 2009
Humor is everywhere
It is nights like tonight that I am reminded of how much I love my job! This world is filled with such a variety of people and I get to encounter each and every single type there is every day/night in this crazy little city we call, “Bawlmor."
The night started of slow, I was dragging ass trying to will the oncoming cold away all the while silently praying that it is 'just a cold' not the dreaded 'swine' flu that has found its way one floor below me in headquarters in three separate individuals. Swine flu...what an appropriate name, of course you know it's inevitable that the police are going to end up getting infected with it.
Once on the floor, I (gasp) hand the keys to the legendary Sonata off to G - what's this, Danica is not driving tonight o-m-g; she has to be sick! G's CS is calling looks like we will be heading to the ill-perceived quiet, safe district of the city and try to get this burner, but first we have to grab some grub...so to Dino's it is.
Phone rings... [Smile, followed by laughter - still find the irony hilarious]...it’s the new guy, sweet!
Infamous chicken salad with half and half is ordered - shocker - we sit/stand near the tables and wait for our food. Two young uniforms walk in...completely unaware of their surroundings - I wonder if they suspect there are at least two people aside from them armed in this establishment (mind you I say "at least" - I'm still a little questionable about the guy to my left). The 'five guy' version hits the head while his side partner stands at the counter and catches sight of G. He is not taking his eyes off of him - I know that look - he is thinking to himself, "I know that guy, but how...have I arrested him before??? Or is he a police???" He can't make up his mind...everywhere he goes his eyes follow G. I ask G if he knows him - we share a laugh at his response - don't worry, I got your back! 'Five guys' cuts in line and orders his food - typical...this is one of the many reasons why citizens dislike police. Hey buddy! The line wasn't even that long. Finally, food is done - G adds a slice of cake - good lawd son son let's go already.
Dinner is served as we find a parking spot a couple doors down from our target location - multi-tasking is a must-have skill in order to do this job ~ now we wait...Its not going down tonight...silently thankful as I had myself a moment once I finished my serving (half) of my salad and tactical reality of the situation sunk in. A very important piece of equipment for all three of us is in the trunk - yea, we are definitely city police.
Back to the west side...
K heads in to set up on the cameras...G wants to do some car stops and I just want to get into something to make the time go by faster so car stops it is. Found one...he stops...gots nothing...steps out...I'm with him the big boy engaging him in conversation...I hear a door shut and Ilook at G...he doesn't look good and is mumbling something...I think he wants to switch to have me search while he stands with big boy - I tell him I'm good (thinking to myself I like'm big - means they fall harder) besides my light is dead (damn I wish that order would come in) - I see G shaking his hand he must of hit it on something. We finish, get in our car G is holding his finger I ask what’s wrong - he laughs, big dummy shut his finger in the door - DOH! He can still get his gun - we're good...on to the next one.
K hits us up - he still hasn't figured out our new phones - we're ready to rip.
We get the description and now to find Waldo - not having much luck - there he is he's turning southbound. We pull alongside, "watch his hands G" G drops his famous line, which includes "stop, police." I'm opening my door - I see the lean, yep there it is, he is about to run and there he goes. O-M-G...I want a camera - I can't stop laughing - no, he didn't. His arms are flailing over his head and he is flamboyantly shouting, "Oh mi god, its da police, its da police, Oh mi god." Lady sitting on her front stoop is heard laughing as I jump across the console, into the driver’s seat with one foot out of the car and drive down the street in order to cut him off. G and I are both laughing out loud when we roll him over. G back tracks as I check him. He says he didn't know we were the police? hmm...with all that flailing and the dark ass streets we chalk it up as a lost 'cause K has another on the line.
A female with fur around collar - sweet should be easy and we don't have to worry about her running - of course that means that I am going to have to do some looking - hope she'll make it easy and have it in her pocket or something - I really don't want to go diving tonight. Arrgghh...can't find her - where did she go? Maybe she made a house? Oh, wait is that her, no she doesn't have fur around the collar and she is walking with a guy towards us not away.
10-47...we'll stand by for the next...
Locate him, but he has already used the evidence. I am starting to feel bad cause we keep coming up empty - I hate it when you're watching something and none of your rips are turning out right. We toss him aside and wait for the next one.
Another female...walking with a guy - great I'm up again. O-K, I see them - there heading southbound - we're on them. Ha! It’s the two we saw earlier. She wants to know why we're stopping her (hmm...I wonder?) Start my search - no such luck! Start on top and work my way south - good lawd she is putting my boobies to shame - these bad boys have to weigh at least 15lbs each. She is giving it away - I know it is in here...I just don't know where to look. Hmm...think J, think - where would you hide it "light bulb". Borrow G's light (that's it I am chalking it up and buying new batteries until that damn order comes in) cha-ching - three green tops in the cleavage -sweetness. At least she has stopped accusing me of disrespecting her boobies - she relaxes and laughs with us. She seems to be very proud of her hiding spot - even jokes on me a little that it took me a little while to find them.
'ts all good in da' hood!
Let’s call it a night...
The night started of slow, I was dragging ass trying to will the oncoming cold away all the while silently praying that it is 'just a cold' not the dreaded 'swine' flu that has found its way one floor below me in headquarters in three separate individuals. Swine flu...what an appropriate name, of course you know it's inevitable that the police are going to end up getting infected with it.
Once on the floor, I (gasp) hand the keys to the legendary Sonata off to G - what's this, Danica is not driving tonight o-m-g; she has to be sick! G's CS is calling looks like we will be heading to the ill-perceived quiet, safe district of the city and try to get this burner, but first we have to grab some grub...so to Dino's it is.
Phone rings... [Smile, followed by laughter - still find the irony hilarious]...it’s the new guy, sweet!
Infamous chicken salad with half and half is ordered - shocker - we sit/stand near the tables and wait for our food. Two young uniforms walk in...completely unaware of their surroundings - I wonder if they suspect there are at least two people aside from them armed in this establishment (mind you I say "at least" - I'm still a little questionable about the guy to my left). The 'five guy' version hits the head while his side partner stands at the counter and catches sight of G. He is not taking his eyes off of him - I know that look - he is thinking to himself, "I know that guy, but how...have I arrested him before??? Or is he a police???" He can't make up his mind...everywhere he goes his eyes follow G. I ask G if he knows him - we share a laugh at his response - don't worry, I got your back! 'Five guys' cuts in line and orders his food - typical...this is one of the many reasons why citizens dislike police. Hey buddy! The line wasn't even that long. Finally, food is done - G adds a slice of cake - good lawd son son let's go already.
Dinner is served as we find a parking spot a couple doors down from our target location - multi-tasking is a must-have skill in order to do this job ~ now we wait...Its not going down tonight...silently thankful as I had myself a moment once I finished my serving (half) of my salad and tactical reality of the situation sunk in. A very important piece of equipment for all three of us is in the trunk - yea, we are definitely city police.
Back to the west side...
K heads in to set up on the cameras...G wants to do some car stops and I just want to get into something to make the time go by faster so car stops it is. Found one...he stops...gots nothing...steps out...I'm with him the big boy engaging him in conversation...I hear a door shut and Ilook at G...he doesn't look good and is mumbling something...I think he wants to switch to have me search while he stands with big boy - I tell him I'm good (thinking to myself I like'm big - means they fall harder) besides my light is dead (damn I wish that order would come in) - I see G shaking his hand he must of hit it on something. We finish, get in our car G is holding his finger I ask what’s wrong - he laughs, big dummy shut his finger in the door - DOH! He can still get his gun - we're good...on to the next one.
K hits us up - he still hasn't figured out our new phones - we're ready to rip.
We get the description and now to find Waldo - not having much luck - there he is he's turning southbound. We pull alongside, "watch his hands G" G drops his famous line, which includes "stop, police." I'm opening my door - I see the lean, yep there it is, he is about to run and there he goes. O-M-G...I want a camera - I can't stop laughing - no, he didn't. His arms are flailing over his head and he is flamboyantly shouting, "Oh mi god, its da police, its da police, Oh mi god." Lady sitting on her front stoop is heard laughing as I jump across the console, into the driver’s seat with one foot out of the car and drive down the street in order to cut him off. G and I are both laughing out loud when we roll him over. G back tracks as I check him. He says he didn't know we were the police? hmm...with all that flailing and the dark ass streets we chalk it up as a lost 'cause K has another on the line.
A female with fur around collar - sweet should be easy and we don't have to worry about her running - of course that means that I am going to have to do some looking - hope she'll make it easy and have it in her pocket or something - I really don't want to go diving tonight. Arrgghh...can't find her - where did she go? Maybe she made a house? Oh, wait is that her, no she doesn't have fur around the collar and she is walking with a guy towards us not away.
10-47...we'll stand by for the next...
Locate him, but he has already used the evidence. I am starting to feel bad cause we keep coming up empty - I hate it when you're watching something and none of your rips are turning out right. We toss him aside and wait for the next one.
Another female...walking with a guy - great I'm up again. O-K, I see them - there heading southbound - we're on them. Ha! It’s the two we saw earlier. She wants to know why we're stopping her (hmm...I wonder?) Start my search - no such luck! Start on top and work my way south - good lawd she is putting my boobies to shame - these bad boys have to weigh at least 15lbs each. She is giving it away - I know it is in here...I just don't know where to look. Hmm...think J, think - where would you hide it "light bulb". Borrow G's light (that's it I am chalking it up and buying new batteries until that damn order comes in) cha-ching - three green tops in the cleavage -sweetness. At least she has stopped accusing me of disrespecting her boobies - she relaxes and laughs with us. She seems to be very proud of her hiding spot - even jokes on me a little that it took me a little while to find them.
'ts all good in da' hood!
Let’s call it a night...
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